i dont like to think to much

but recently

i think a lot

bout him

bout me

bout my work

bout my future

bout my religion

bing wu teach me a lot

but i still cant accept it

i m a dirty ppl

if i m standing infront of god

but which one is the real god?

will he accept me?

even i cant accept myself

i told ethel that before

she said

god will forgive all u have done

i cant forgive myself

he can?

sometimes

i really hope i can be like them

all the youth

easy

happy

enjoy

i lost all of it

my heart no longer easy

my heart no longer happy

chin2 said i look always happy

really?

the happiness is just a mask

behind the mask just lonely & sadness

LAzy~~

i know i m quite lazy to update my blog recently

after back from thailand

many things happen

i knew something

i know its no result

i m stress in my work

i dont know how long i can hold?

tried to escape

but if i go away right now

i wont get anything

nobody could help me

i know

i always remind myself

keep it

keep going

dont give up

but its tiring

the first time

i said

give me some strength

or send someone to give me power

to keep going

====================================================

my mom asking me

u have BF in your office r?

my first reaction is

o.O What???

why i got BF i oso dunno pulak?

i said dont hv

she dont believe wor

then sua

leave it

tell my dad

he said

mom just care bout my marriage

she hope i can married earlier

but

Hello...........

i m just 20

too early to worried lar

just keep the worried when i m 30 lar

ish2

the same worried repeat & repeat

who can release me from this???

haiz.........

24 hours more

i would leave Malaysia

because.............

we are going to Krabi!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah!!!!!!!!!

but my sore throat still bring me a damn dino Voices

i try to eat a lot of cold things

drink a lot of water

today seems a bit better...

but i grow pimples

:(

what the heck?

coz of the heat....

a few BIG SIZE pimples grow on my face

i just think dont wanna bring any make up stuff

but now must bring d

bad bad.....

night mare

i din sleep at all last night

eyes very tired but just cant sleep

when i nearly sleep

something will pop up on my mind

OMG

i yelling on my blanket

god!!!!!!why u dont let me sleep???

T.T

now i m so blur............

already forgot how to pass my night yesterday

nightmare,

tonight......

dont let me cant sleep liao

T.T

i think i have a strange feeling to someone.......
a one that couldn't be love....
again.......
i m quite upset
why u choose a guy that couldn't be accept again!!!!!!
but he gonna leave soon
i really hope he have a good career
that's the only way for me to love him
i ask myself why?
i dunno
i just can found him
wherever he go
when open my computer
my eyes will looking for him
oh no.........
i m not going to tell him
not going to fall into the grave named love that soon
please wait......
when i done all my dream
when i know i can stay with u
i will tell u
will u wait for me???


♥theonlysoon♥